It’s just an ordinary day, really. I don’t realize how much
time has passed, the days, the weeks, the months. It goes so quickly, and yet,
some days never seem to end.
This ordinary day turns to extraordinary. Nothing “happened.” There was nothing
eventful, actually.
Then I realize:
It doesn’t hurt anymore.
Hold on….wait….what?
Yeah, that’s right. It doesn’t hurt anymore.
I look into those once broken places and realize they are
whole. I take a second look.
Yep, they’re still whole.
Pictures don’t bring tears, words don’t sting, and the
memories are just memories.
Oh.... shoot. The memories. They are there, though. Reality is,
I can’t forget.
It’s alright. Many of them are fading. Blurry. I realize
that they don’t affect me anymore. They do not define me. But they have shaped
me. Molded me. Made me.
I search once more for the sadness that once loomed over and
filled in the little cracks and spaces in my fragile heart. I cross my fingers,
hold my breath, expecting it, in some form, to poke it’s head through the hole
in which it has resided for quite some time.
Just wait for it.
......nothing.
Still nothing.
Could it really be?! When did this happen?! How?!
My child, it happened through the quiet moments, when it
seemed as if I wasn’t there, but you chose to trust Me. It happened through the
tears when you chose to surrender. It happened through the laughter, the
letting go, the accepting, saying “yes” to Me. It couldn’t happen in a day, a
month, or even a year. I wanted to take time in pursuing you, precious one. I wanted
to woo you, romance you, and I wanted you to choose Me. Oh, the times I wanted
to take the pain away, to show you it wouldn’t last forever. But I wanted you
to want Me. To WANT Me. To want ME.
To NEED ME. It was happening, little by little, everyday. Through the
monotony and adventure. Through the busy and the boring. Through your
attentiveness and unawareness. It happened when you gave Me your heart, every
part, and let Me write your story. I promised you this day would come. And I know you didn’t believe Me. I’ve
been waiting for it. Waiting for the perfect time. Oh my beloved, I know you
have, too. The time is here. The time is now. Rejoice, my loved one. Rejoice.
Healing. Restoration. Redemption. Freedom.
The Lord really is in the business of these things. It’s who
He is. It brings a smile to His face.
Ash, I'm so excited and proud of you. I remember the broken girl, but she's so distant. The Lord has changed it all, broken chains, and restored your love for life.
ReplyDelete"My Maker is incredibly, painfully IN LOVE with me! I know that He holds my world. And He holds my dreams. Every tear, and every laugh. He KNOWS me. I can't wait to become more of the woman He has created me to be. A better version of me. This is what I was made for. It was already written. And now I will begin this God-ordained journey."
This is a quote from your blog from Legacy, just wanted to remind you of what you said, when you gave it all away and the woman you've become.